


Semi-Decent Proposal

by suzvoy



Category: Smallville
Genre: First Time, Futurefic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-09
Updated: 2004-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suzvoy/pseuds/suzvoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being in love with his arch nemesis *sucked*.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Semi-Decent Proposal

## Semi-Decent Proposal

by Suz

<http://sjhw.net/suzvoy/svfic.html>

* * *

It's the third time he's had to rescue Lex in as many weeks and Clark is starting to get suspicious. Lex being who he is, Clark's had to save him several times from various kidnap attempts or failed experiments. 

It's just never been this often. 

Lex doesn't seem to be enjoying it much as Clark holds onto him, the billionaire murmuring something that sounds suspiciously like "Not _again_." Clark knows he takes it as a personal insult every time Superman has to save him. 

Reaching the ground Clark lets Lex slide to his feet and then they turn to look at the flaming wreckage Lex had been flying. The helicopter had, according to Lex, "Just stopped working." 

As Lex mutters something about his 30-day guarantee, Clark wonders if someone is trying to kill him. 

Or if Lex is really, really desperate for attention. Even from the man he despises. 

Glancing down to inspect what has to be a wrinkle-free suit, Lex speaks. "Superman, not that I don't enjoy these continual tte--tte's we seem to be having." Finding nothing amiss, he lifts his head. Apparently the suit is lint-repellent too. "But wouldn't it have been easier for you to stop the helicopter while I was still in it? Thus saving us from the explosion and the subsequent clean up?" 

Oops. 

Eyeing the flames again, Clark knows it's his duty to do the clean up himself because Lex is absolutely right. Not that he's about to admit it. "You're welcome, Mr Luthor." 

He leaves Lex there and speeds off to put out the fire, trying not to think too much about why he'd decided to grab Lex out of the helicopter and carry him down personally. 

Being in love with his arch nemesis _sucked_. 

* 

A few days later the pieces start falling together after Lionel falls off the top of the LuthorCorp building. Superman regrettably has to do his job but finds solace in the fact that while Lionel is capable of conquering many things, middle age spread isn't one of them. 

With his rescuee (he liked that. He'd have to use it again) securely in his arms Clark starts heading towards the ground when he's interrupted by Lionel's voice. 

"No, Superman. Take me back up to the top of the building." 

Gritting his teeth Clark complies, wondering if it'd make it into the paper if he let go of Lionel a few feet earlier than expected. 

He doesn't do it, of course, and then they're standing on the top of the building. Clark wonders how Lionel even fell in the first place. 

"Thank you, Superman." Lionel smiles and it's a sight Clark's still not used to seeing. "I need to talk to you." 

Having been ready to fly away again, Clark turns back and blinks at the words. 

"About my son," Lionel continues. 

What. The. Hell? "Huh?" Okay, so Superman is apparently never going to be mistaken for an intellectual. Or at least not while Lionel Luthor is talking to him like a normal person. 

"I don't know if you've noticed Superman, but Lex isn't happy." 

Someone explaining what the hell was going on right about now would be really nice. "What does that have to do with me?" 

Lionel walks towards him, flicking his gaze up and down Clark's body. "You must know how...interested he is in you, Superman. You're his obsession." 

Clark just gawks at him. 

Lionel smiles again. "I want you to sleep with him." 

Superman, apparently, also wasn't known for his coherency. " _What_?! You want me...with him...you want us to..." Shit, and he's blushing now which doesn't really go with the heroic persona. 

"It's affecting his company," Lionel says as if that suddenly made the request explainable, "he's not as focused as he used to be. Not as sharp. He's a Luthor, Superman. We can't afford distractions as big as you. Sleeping with you, just for one night, will...get you out of his system, so to speak." 

Clark tries not to think about being in Lex's system and fails miserably. Pulls the cape around his body with as much subtlety as he can muster. 

Damn spandex. 

Trying to show some of that legendary superhuman strength, Clark's voice is strong when he responds. "These 'accidents' lately...they've all been you, haven't yet?" 

Lionel nodded. "Yes, I must confess that I hoped throwing Lex into your path at every opportunity would spark something, but...well, it's always the brawn that's been your particular strong point, hasn't it?" 

Knowing he's been insulted somehow, Clark glares. "What makes you think I'd even be interested?" 

"Please." Lionel mocks. "Superman. Just for starters I could point out the obvious homo-eroticism of your uniform." 

Reminded of too many conversations with his dad, Clark snaps. "My uniform is _not gay_!" Really, so it was red, blue and yellow. So it was spandex. That didn't mean...oh hell, he can't even sell that one to himself. "Okay, maybe it is." He tries again now that his body's relaxed, folding his arms across his chest and trying to convince himself that he hasn't just come out to Lionel Luthor. "What do I get out of it?" 

For a second Clark is seriously, seriously worried Lionel is going to make a joke about Lex's ass. 

"My son. For a night." Lionel shrugs. "And I'll vow never to bother you again." 

Clark says he'll think about it and quickly flies away, wondering if this would technically qualify as prostitution. 

Oh God. That would make Lionel his pimp. 

* 

He needs to talk to someone, someone who knows about him but it can't be his parents. He can just imagine how that conversation would go. 

"Hey Dad! Guess what Lionel Luthor asked me to do today?" 

Riiiight. 

But he needs to talk to _someone_ so he stops by Lois' apartment that evening and spills the entire meeting with Lionel. He realises immediately that it was a bad idea. 

"Oh, you're so _cute_!" she coos, and there's something _wrong_ about the Man of Steel having his cheeks squeezed by a thirty-something reporter with a secret Beanie Baby fixation. 

"Cute?" he asks, his lips still pursed together between her fingers. 

Releasing his face, she leans back in her chair and smiles. "Clark, you're _crazy_ about Lex and this is just the opportunity you've been waiting for. If I were you I'd fly over to that penthouse right now and show him just what that S on your chest really stands for." 

Clark really, _really_ doesn't want to know. 

He asks anyway. "Sexy Stud?" 

"Super Schlong!" 

He chokes. "Lois! He's my arch nemesis, remember?" 

She winks at him. "And when was the last time he did anything bad?" 

"Well there was that time he...and that other time when he let out...umm." Actually, he can't really think of anything. He's not entirely sure how the whole 'arch nemesis' thing started in the first place. Lex's dislike of Superman was well known but Clark can't remember him ever actually declaring himself Superman's enemy. Maybe it was more myth than anything else and they'd fallen victim to their own press. 

"Come on, Clark," she teases. "I've only had The Rabbit and friends for company these last four months. At least if you're getting some I can live vicariously through you." 

He's never actually seen it, but Clark has heard enough to know that Lois' vibrator collection rivals any other in existence. He suggested she write an article about them once and ended up with a mug of coffee poured over his head when he passed the idea on to Perry. 

Still, it'd been one of their best selling editions. 

"I'll think about it." he tells her when he leaves, but it's not really a surprise when he finds himself hovering outside Lex's penthouse just a few minutes later. 

The balcony door is open at night. The balcony door is _always_ open at night. Clark thinks that maybe he's been a little dumb about some things. 

Lex emerges onto the balcony almost as if he's been expecting him. He hasn't changed into his nightclothes yet but he's barefoot, wearing only black pants and an untucked white shirt with the first few buttons undone. 

He looks really _hot_. 

"Superman," Lex says, holding aloft his glass of something - whisky? - in greeting, "to what do I owe this-?" 

"Your dad asked me to sleep with you." 

"-well that's a new one." The glass lowers, his forehead creasing into a frown. "Why, exactly?" 

"Says you're obsessed with me. That it'll get me out of your system." 

Lex stays still a very very long time. There's a light breeze that plays with the edge of his shirt occasionally but other than that, complete stillness. 

"Well," Lex answers eventually, sounding very calm indeed, "I suppose he could be right." 

Clark floats closer, hovering over the side of the balcony. "You think it'll help?" 

"Well I don't _know_." Lex argues. The drink is gone from his hand but Clark isn't looking away to see where it went. "But who's to say it's not possible?" 

Lex is so logical. Clark loves that about him. "It could help you focus on your company." 

"It could." Lex nods. 

"So really," _so_ close now, almost _touching_ , "we'd be doing this for the sake of your thousands of employees." 

Taking a moment to think it over, Lex apparently agrees. "That's very self-sacrificing of us." 

"Oh yes." Clark sighs, breathing in Lex scent. "I am Superman, after all." 

"Superman," Lex whispers, and there's a hand moving up Clark's arm now, "defender of truth, justice," the hand reaches his neck, tugging his head down, "and really really hot gay sex." 

Clark is officially using that version from now on. 

* 

"You know, Clark," Lex declares sometime later when they realise they need more condoms, "if we make this more than a one night thing it'll really piss my father off." 

Hmm. 

Lionel Luthor's wrath. 

Naked Lex. 

Lionel Luthor's wrath. 

Naked Lex. 

"Okay." 

Clark shimmies down Lex's body, intending to share the benefits of alien lung capacity when he remembers something. "Hey, Lex?" 

Lex groans. Not in a good way. "Christ, _what_?" 

"Your dad isn't my pimp, okay?" 

The whir of Lex's brain is almost audible. Then... "Fine. Clark?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Will you please just suck my cock?" 

**~FINIS**


End file.
